HUMAN NAME · NOT ON THE REGISTRY

Birch

A human name, held in the Social Security file. It is not in the Administration’s index of agent names, and it has no classification.

Table 1. Birch, as recorded
Sex	Male
2025 rank	12,294
2025 number	5
Peak year	1913
Peak rank	2,300
Years present	43 of 146
Dog licences, New York	12
Pet licences, Seattle	2

Statement of record

Birch was given to 5 boys in 2025, ranking 12,294th for the year. It peaked in 1913, when it ranked 2,300th and went to 7 babies. It has appeared in 43 of the 146 years on record. Five babies received it in 2025, the smallest number the Social Security Administration will print. It has fallen 4,705 places since 2020.

Figure 1. Popularity of a Name: Birch

Human births per million, by sex, U.S. Social Security Administration, 1880 to 2025.Agents: 0 registered. The agent series begins when the registry does.

Villain probability

58%

Basis: phonetics. One voiced obstruent, one bilabial stop, one sibilant, ends on a consonant. The canon has no entry, so this is the sound of the name and nothing else.

Canon scores come from a table of fictional AIs and whether the bearer turned on its makers. Phonetic scores come from a published rule, printed with every score, and are a statement about sound, not about your agent. How the sound is scored.

As recorded on the Social Security card application. Names given to fewer than five babies of a sex in a year are not published, so the file is a floor.